Sheff Wed vs. Middlesbrough

On Tuesday the 15th, me and good friends Keith, Chris and Rob took a trip down to Sheffield for Middlesbrough's away game.

It was fantastic! We enjoyed the great pubs, a gourmet burger, plenty of beer, Rob doing chin ups on a grab-rail on a tram, a great game of pool and some truly appalling Hillsborough disaster comments/songs. Best of all though was the 3-1 victory for Middlesbrough!

Actually no, best of all was raving in the back seat of the car on the way home with Rob to songs like this...



On third thought the very best thing was writing poor Rob's mobile number on the back of a betting coupon and asking him to put it in the gents. I still don't think he clicked on that it was his number!

Photo evidence...

Old at 26

Ouch! It was a like a punch to the stomach entering the world of Middlesbrough pub, "The Crown" last night.

I'd heard plenty of people mention "The Crown on a Monday" but never gave it a shot until last night.

Dear me. I was easily one of the oldest in there and it hurt my pride quite a bit!

Still, £1.50 a drink, a top laugh and some serious amounts of clunge.

I shall have to go more often.

Chai-Yo Thai Massage Parlour, Krakow

I mentioned the Thai Massage Parlour in an earlier post the other day. Well here's a little story for you all...

It was the Thursday afternoon of a five day long trip (Tuesday to Saturday). It was around about 3pm and we (me and my mate Keith) were both pretty leathered - merely topping up the previous days over the top binge with some seriously strong lager. We both sat blurry eyed wondering what to do next as yet another drink seemed a bit of a challenge.

"Well I don't know about you Keith but I want a massage. Can we get one?" I shouted. "Like now?"

"But Mikey you don't even know where the friggin' place is."

"Yeah, it's on the map. Here, look!"

The free tourist map from the hotel was our pride and joy on this trip. Krakow is almost as mazey as Amsterdam. So off we went with our tails up (not a euphemism) and we stopped a taxi.

It took forever. It was absolutely miles away.

We finally got there and were greeted with what can only be described as the biggest front door you've ever seen.

"I am a tad scared pal!"

I hesitantly pressed the button on the intercom and was greeted in Polish.

"Errr yeah, it's Mikey Heaney and Keith Groves here, we've come for the massage, can we come in?"

It creeked open and I thought I would be greeted by about 6 or 7 burly former bare knuckle boxers. But no, I was met by a young Polish girl. This looked promising!!

I quickly explained why we there - for massages of course! But as I garbled through the beer, I hadn't heard her say that they were full until 4pm tomorrow. Keith had!

I asked again, this time not slurring my words...

"Mikey they haven't got any room for ya, you thick cunt!" (We have the utmost respect for each other.)

At which point I let out the biggest "Nooooooooooooo!!!" this side of Darth Vader!

Anyway, I finally, tonight, got round to Googling the Chai Yo Thai Massage Parlour and do you know what I visited the websites gallery and found this guy...



It was almost guaranteed that this Bruce Lee wannabe was going to massage me within an inch of my life and then ask if I wanted any extras.

Well, I wasn't sticking around to get to know his Fist of Fury!

Here's the link...click!

i-Pod and i-Phone

Well I was in for some conflict today. I wasn't too bothered today about the lass who's on work experience wearing her ipod all day. After all she was doing a load of filing for me and doing a fairly good job. I couldn't hear it, she didn't hum along either so there was no need to bother her you might think. Oh no, a few complaints came my way after she'd left and I wondered what everyone thought? Should I knack her?

But it also got me thinking quite a bit about the iPhone 3gs I've ordered. I am seriously reconsidering it now as, when the chuff am I going to use it?

I have a fully functioning PC at home (well sometimes), I use Spotify for music and well anything else that it does doesn't seem to be that practical or useful...or is it? Would I use these 'apps' a lot? Or 3 months into my 2 year contract would I just be saying, "Big fucking wow!" to the app that lets me drink an imaginary pint of Carling.

I hate Carling.