The conclusion to a fantastic series will be aired tonight live on ITV1 and do you know what, it really has been a fantastic series. I have loved it.
I have often mocked those who watched the show in past years, believing I was 'above it' and that it wasn't 'real' music.
However, I have watched it closely this year and been very impressed with how watchable it really is. I've seen some neck-hair raising performances, genuine tension and excitement and had some right laughs too. I particularly loved John and Edward hanging on every week, loved Stacey's Queen performance - a song I'd never really heard and identified with them before and Joe's performance last night with a rough looking George Michael was sensational.
You might think, X Factor - pah! Well so did I, but it's proved me wrong this year and I hope tonight's final is as good as it can be.
Here's Joe and George Michael from last night.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 - The Review
So Modern Warfare 2 came out with a huge amount of hype on Tuesday 12th of November 2009 and I have been playing it ever since.
I'm sure you have noticed that this is having a hugely adverse effect on this blog! I've decided that now is the time, after finishing the game on veteran (how cool am I?), to share my thoughts after playing it to death.
You could say this game has three very different aspects to it, there is the campaign mode, the multiplayer mode and the Special Ops.
Let's start with the campaign.
You're thrown in to the game at a military camp in Afghanistan and the game cleverly (or annoyingly to regular players) runs you through the basic controls such as how to shoot, how to aim, throw a grenade etc etc before launching you into it's first mission aboard a Humvee. From there on in, you're hooked. The graphics, the sound which is phenomenal on some levels, the set pieces which it loves, it's all truly stunning.
I was not long into my bowl of cheerios that Tuesday morning on release day when my character was dressed up to look like a Russian terrorist. He swaggered through Moscow airport pinging off hundreds of rounds from his LMG into innocent Russians in the most realistic representation of terrorism I've seen in a game and probably only will see in a game judging by the controversy it caused. Was it necessary? No. I think the story writers could have come up with much more compelling ways to spark a US Russian war and could have included a much more exciting mission as a result. But I am fairly sure they made quite a lot of extra sales as a result.
The plot is full of holes and I was left scratching my head as to how quickly this whole war seems to explode into life but then again, something more complicated would no doubt leave the majority of those who bought it scratching their heads saying: what does all this mean?
My biggest gripe with the campaign mode is some of the level design. The biggest sinner is the mission called "Wolverines!". In this mission you quickly make your way through a typical North Eastern American housing estate (big wooden type detached houses) and find yourself in a retail/leisure park with various fast food style restaurants. Now mid way through the mission, your Sergeant, Sgt. Foley, tells you that...
"Ramirez! I think I saw a Stinger on the top of Burger Town. Get over there and take out that helicopter!!"
I almost switched off at this point. It just reeked of badly thought out design. It had the phrase, "How can we make this level last longer to make sure the player sees all the pretty stuff we spent ages drawing."
For fucks sake Foley, thanks a lot mate. If you saw it then why didn't you pick it up on the off chance that we might have needed to use it.
Then it happens again and this time you run over to another building only to find that it's already full of US Rangers! What the hell? That was infuriating!
After a few more missions, I got to play what I now believe are my favourite missions in the game. They sit side by side and the first has you breaching and clearing an oil rig and rescuing hostages and then busting Prisoner #627 out of Gulag. They were simply fantastic, brilliantly paced and enough to make you want to play them several times over unlike many of the other missions.
The ending of the USA vs. Russia plot line was very abrupt, with the unbelievably annoying Cpl. Dunn who spends entire missions fannying about asking, "So, when we going to Moscow."
Ooh, I'm not certain Dunn me lad, but probably sometime in November 2011 just in time for Xmas I imagine. I am not excited at all about a sequel and the continuation of this story and I think it really needs to step a gear in terms of storyline.
The gameplay from start to finish is fantastic, there are enough little set pieces to make you feel like part of something much bigger than just a game but as with Modern Warfare 1, the story is exceptionally short considering just how much plot is packed into it.
Overall I really enjoyed the campaign and the majority of the missions. Some of them were a bit naff, pointless you might say. The two Brazilian levels were far too excessive and I think a minute long snatch and grab of Rojas would been much more effective than the frustrating sprint, shoot and flashbang your way through the favela. Which you do twice and believe me, on veteran this is insanely difficult. The last two missions of the campaign as well are very, I don't know, strange I think. But the campaign is still better than most, if not all games I have played.
I'd give the campaign mode 8/10. There is a lot of room for improvement.
So, onto the multi player. This is where the game excels. The multi-player mode is massively indepth, there are so many weapons, attachments, challenges, levels, title, emblems etc etc that you could play this for months and months if not years and still not get through the vast amount of stuff here that the player has available to consume.
Every game is different which is why it is so appealing. There a large number of maps with one or two crap ones admittedly (Afghan in particular is beyond frustrating) and there all a lot bigger than Modern Warfare 1's maps. In some cases though I found myself running around big open spaces for ages thinking, where in God's name is everyone?
I am only just scratching the surface of multiplayer and I have been on it a month now.
As for the Yanks, the abuse, the 10 year olds who call you gay. Just mute them. As for the experts who can see you a mile away with a pistol well chances are you won't play them as when it loads up a game for you it now matches you to similarly skilled players which is much more enjoyable.
This section of the game definitely deserves a 10/10. It's truly immense, well balanced and there has been so much effort put into this section of the game.
Now the Special Ops has the feel of a late addition to the game but is absolutely fantastic. I think the appeal of this for me is playing through these very small missions whilst talking to your mate and sharing the experience. And my absolute favourite experience of this game was playing the "Estate Takedown" Spec Ops mission on Veteran difficulty.
There is a big country house which you have to clear and then defend from enemies. Now, included in these enemies, there are about five or six Juggernauts. For those of you who have played it, then you will know just how brilliant and feared the Juggernaut is and for those of you haven't well, believe me he takes some killing.
We cleared the house pretty quickly including quite a few of the aforementioned juggernauts and then equipped sniper rifles and took out the last nine or ten standard soldiers from afar before we both glimpsed coming in at speed through the front door our last enemy, yes you have guessed it, a big grizzly Juggernaut with one intention - killing us. I think "Giddy" is a good word to describe the atmosphere over the headsets! "There's a Juggernaut coming up the stairs! Shiiiiiit!!".
I felt like a 10 year old again and it was brilliant.
My fighting partner was taken out so I had to hit the Juggernaut with everything I had and down he went. It was truly awesome and is still talked about now.
10/10 for Spec Ops.
Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 gets a 9/10 from me. There too many tiny things wrong to stop this from being the perfect game.
And I leave you with this jammy sod on multi player using the newly added throwing knives...
I'm sure you have noticed that this is having a hugely adverse effect on this blog! I've decided that now is the time, after finishing the game on veteran (how cool am I?), to share my thoughts after playing it to death.
You could say this game has three very different aspects to it, there is the campaign mode, the multiplayer mode and the Special Ops.
Let's start with the campaign.
You're thrown in to the game at a military camp in Afghanistan and the game cleverly (or annoyingly to regular players) runs you through the basic controls such as how to shoot, how to aim, throw a grenade etc etc before launching you into it's first mission aboard a Humvee. From there on in, you're hooked. The graphics, the sound which is phenomenal on some levels, the set pieces which it loves, it's all truly stunning.
I was not long into my bowl of cheerios that Tuesday morning on release day when my character was dressed up to look like a Russian terrorist. He swaggered through Moscow airport pinging off hundreds of rounds from his LMG into innocent Russians in the most realistic representation of terrorism I've seen in a game and probably only will see in a game judging by the controversy it caused. Was it necessary? No. I think the story writers could have come up with much more compelling ways to spark a US Russian war and could have included a much more exciting mission as a result. But I am fairly sure they made quite a lot of extra sales as a result.
The plot is full of holes and I was left scratching my head as to how quickly this whole war seems to explode into life but then again, something more complicated would no doubt leave the majority of those who bought it scratching their heads saying: what does all this mean?
My biggest gripe with the campaign mode is some of the level design. The biggest sinner is the mission called "Wolverines!". In this mission you quickly make your way through a typical North Eastern American housing estate (big wooden type detached houses) and find yourself in a retail/leisure park with various fast food style restaurants. Now mid way through the mission, your Sergeant, Sgt. Foley, tells you that...
"Ramirez! I think I saw a Stinger on the top of Burger Town. Get over there and take out that helicopter!!"
I almost switched off at this point. It just reeked of badly thought out design. It had the phrase, "How can we make this level last longer to make sure the player sees all the pretty stuff we spent ages drawing."
For fucks sake Foley, thanks a lot mate. If you saw it then why didn't you pick it up on the off chance that we might have needed to use it.
Then it happens again and this time you run over to another building only to find that it's already full of US Rangers! What the hell? That was infuriating!
After a few more missions, I got to play what I now believe are my favourite missions in the game. They sit side by side and the first has you breaching and clearing an oil rig and rescuing hostages and then busting Prisoner #627 out of Gulag. They were simply fantastic, brilliantly paced and enough to make you want to play them several times over unlike many of the other missions.
The ending of the USA vs. Russia plot line was very abrupt, with the unbelievably annoying Cpl. Dunn who spends entire missions fannying about asking, "So, when we going to Moscow."
Ooh, I'm not certain Dunn me lad, but probably sometime in November 2011 just in time for Xmas I imagine. I am not excited at all about a sequel and the continuation of this story and I think it really needs to step a gear in terms of storyline.
The gameplay from start to finish is fantastic, there are enough little set pieces to make you feel like part of something much bigger than just a game but as with Modern Warfare 1, the story is exceptionally short considering just how much plot is packed into it.
Overall I really enjoyed the campaign and the majority of the missions. Some of them were a bit naff, pointless you might say. The two Brazilian levels were far too excessive and I think a minute long snatch and grab of Rojas would been much more effective than the frustrating sprint, shoot and flashbang your way through the favela. Which you do twice and believe me, on veteran this is insanely difficult. The last two missions of the campaign as well are very, I don't know, strange I think. But the campaign is still better than most, if not all games I have played.
I'd give the campaign mode 8/10. There is a lot of room for improvement.
So, onto the multi player. This is where the game excels. The multi-player mode is massively indepth, there are so many weapons, attachments, challenges, levels, title, emblems etc etc that you could play this for months and months if not years and still not get through the vast amount of stuff here that the player has available to consume.
Every game is different which is why it is so appealing. There a large number of maps with one or two crap ones admittedly (Afghan in particular is beyond frustrating) and there all a lot bigger than Modern Warfare 1's maps. In some cases though I found myself running around big open spaces for ages thinking, where in God's name is everyone?
I am only just scratching the surface of multiplayer and I have been on it a month now.
As for the Yanks, the abuse, the 10 year olds who call you gay. Just mute them. As for the experts who can see you a mile away with a pistol well chances are you won't play them as when it loads up a game for you it now matches you to similarly skilled players which is much more enjoyable.
This section of the game definitely deserves a 10/10. It's truly immense, well balanced and there has been so much effort put into this section of the game.
Now the Special Ops has the feel of a late addition to the game but is absolutely fantastic. I think the appeal of this for me is playing through these very small missions whilst talking to your mate and sharing the experience. And my absolute favourite experience of this game was playing the "Estate Takedown" Spec Ops mission on Veteran difficulty.
There is a big country house which you have to clear and then defend from enemies. Now, included in these enemies, there are about five or six Juggernauts. For those of you who have played it, then you will know just how brilliant and feared the Juggernaut is and for those of you haven't well, believe me he takes some killing.
We cleared the house pretty quickly including quite a few of the aforementioned juggernauts and then equipped sniper rifles and took out the last nine or ten standard soldiers from afar before we both glimpsed coming in at speed through the front door our last enemy, yes you have guessed it, a big grizzly Juggernaut with one intention - killing us. I think "Giddy" is a good word to describe the atmosphere over the headsets! "There's a Juggernaut coming up the stairs! Shiiiiiit!!".
I felt like a 10 year old again and it was brilliant.
My fighting partner was taken out so I had to hit the Juggernaut with everything I had and down he went. It was truly awesome and is still talked about now.
10/10 for Spec Ops.
Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 gets a 9/10 from me. There too many tiny things wrong to stop this from being the perfect game.
And I leave you with this jammy sod on multi player using the newly added throwing knives...
Monday, November 23, 2009
This Blog
Has really suffered at the hands of Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2.
So apologies to my three readers.
I shall be back one day I imagine.
So apologies to my three readers.
I shall be back one day I imagine.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Music Monday: Patti Boyd
To continue the George Harrison and Eric Clapton theme from last week, this is the beautiful lady who won the hearts of not only Beatle George Harrison but Eric Clapton as well and had four fabulous songs written for her. Apparently both John Lennon and Mick Jagger also fancied a bit too. You can see why, she's a bit of a stunner.
George wrote "I Need You" and "Something" and Eric wrote "Layla" and "Wonderful Tonight". I'm sure you've heard of them!
The whole relationship surrounding these two, George and Eric, is pretty complicated and would make for one huge fabulous late 60's early 70's period drama (why no-one has bothered making something like this for TV I'll never know - I mean, just imagine the soundtrack!).
Now, legend has it, during one atmospheric evening at George's house and to quote Patti from her book:
"George handed him a guitar and an amp - as an 18th century gentleman might have handed his rival a sword - and for two hours, without a word, they duelled.
"At the end, nothing was said but the general feeling was that Eric had won. He hadn't allowed himself to get riled or go in for instrumental gymnastics as George had. Even when he was drunk, his guitar-playing was unbeatable."
How good?! I love reading about stuff like that.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Don't Stop Me Now
Back in 2002/03 time I rediscovered a collection of old cassette tapes hidden away in my house. In amongst the old "Now that's what I call music" double sets and few singles (including the great "Swamp Thing" by The Grid), was Queen's Greatest Hits.
It's an absolutely biblically epic album with such belters as Bohemian Rhapsody, Another One Bites the Dust, Killer Queen, Fat Bottomed Girls, Bicycle Race, You're My Best Friend and of course Don't Stop Me Now. If anything it is perhaps the greatest of greatest hits.
"Oooh" says I, but not in a Mercury esque manner. It might have been. Ok it was.
"I think I might have to give this a bit of a hammering."
It got a quick listen that very night. I was quickly hooked and then, by chance, I was in my mate Keith's Mam's car (A silver J reg escort - it's vivid my memory you know) and we made it all the way through Bicycle Race and You're My Best Friend and then, in a pivotal moment, the Queen track, Don't Stop Me Now blasted out of the Escort's speakers.
I don't know what it was that happened that night. Perhaps the speed we were travelling, the turned up stereo system of Keith's Mam's Ford Escort or simply the elated mood we were in. We'd both just gained our first proper jobs around this time, both of us had gotten seriously into nights out and life was on the up. Don't Stop Me Now obviously rang true with us at the time. For the next few months it became "the" song (amongst a few others I might add).
Now, around this time, Keith and I were regular, almost weekly, visitors to Redcar where we would tour the few bars, get absolutely smashed on Vodka and Red Bull which had just been introduced to the scene and then request songs from who I swear was the absolute double of Ned Flanders. Ned used to DJ in the now closed The Royal pub. The finest, funnest, most ridiculous pub Redcar has ever seen. During this time, I started asking for Queen's Don't Stop Me Now, because we loved it and it always tore the house down. Turns out other people loved it. It was a beautiful happy period of my life.
And then it spread like some disease from bar to bar. It became an essential part of the cheesy DJ's set. I asked for it in Walkabout. I asked for it in Chicago Rock. I asked for it in Aruba. It was played. How we danced. How the others danced. How we threw our hands across an imaginary sky during the line, "like a rocket ship racing through the sky"...
But.
You see.
The thing is, I cannot stand the song now.
Every week, in several of the bars we now go in it's almost guaranteed to be played.
Guaranteed.
"Tonight, I am gonna have myself a real good time..."
Well I am sorry Freddie, Bri and the other two, whatever your names are, but maybe I am not this week. Maybe I am a bit miffed that you get played all the time now during my hazy period on a night out. "Tonig...
No Frederick. Just. No.
And do you know what? It's my fault he gets played every week.
I asked for it every week.
Without fail.
Yes, me.
It was fresh and new and retro back in the early 2000's! It hadn't been played for 25 years! But oh no, I just took it too far. It's now become an essential part of your modern night out now. It's a Walkabout classic. A Chicago Rock floor filler. A downstairs in Aruba nightmare.
I am almost certain, 99% certain infact that I never heard Queen's Don't Stop Me Now in a pub or club before until I asked for it that fateful night in Redcar. A good 3 or 4 years worth of going out from 1999 or so.
So, for this, I apologise.
The next time you hear this Queen "classic" belt out of the speakers in your local cheesy disco please, spare a little thought for me.
Stewart Lee
I attended Stewart Lee's show at the Stockton Arc on Tuesday night. It was, quite simply, sensational.
The show kicked off with Lee introducing warm up act Tony Law who was, after a frighteningly surreal start, quite brilliant in his own unique way. His Zagreb, Croatia story was, quite easily, the highlight of his small set.
After a quick toilet and drink break on came Stewart Lee and within moments, the crowd was drawn in to the world and web of this fantastic story teller. He covered a variety of subjects and there was no point during the act where I once thought, this is a bit boring, uninteresting or uncomfortable.
It was almost as if he was conducting us the audience, as if we were some giant Bach organ that he was playing and in full masterful command of. He was slowly building each of his flowing stories, carefully choosing each word, each pause and each sigh and then increasing the intensity, volume, atmosphere and electricity in the theatre as he continued his act. It really was sheer genius.
His ability to create a repetitive line or key point from something incredibly obscure which can, and does, leave you close to sheer frustration. He continually plays on this during chapters of his performance until you are almost locked in on every word until he reaches a climactic point where finally, he leaves the viewer completely satisfied.
There is no comedian out there today who can do that. If there is I would like to see them.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Music Monday
Here's one of my favourite tracks off one of my favourite albums. This is Savoy Truffle from The Beatles White Album. It's George Harrison's tribute to Eric Clapton's fondness for a particular box of Mackintosh's chocolates and a spot of toothache.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Haynes Arms
I went for tea at the Haynes Arms the other night. Now, beforehand I left a status on Facebook and a guy commented saying how amazing the parmos where. So, as I tend to do, I Googled "Haynes-Arms Parmo".
About 6 or 7 results down was, lo and behold, a Burnley Wallet page. Now, for the uninitiated, this was the old blog that me, my brother and our mate Keith used to run and this result is during mid to late 2005 when the Wallet was at it's peak.
I had a read through and it brought back some amazing memories and some huge laugh out loud moments. Cracking stuff. A particular favourite of mine was the night out that ended with a an old school mate pretending to be a Canadian Ice Hockey player whilst Keith acted as his bodyguard! I don't know why, it's just so random it cracked me up!
Here you go.
It's intense isn't it?
I mean one guy I follow, he had 9 posts on the front page when I logged in tonight.
9!
I mean one guy I follow, he had 9 posts on the front page when I logged in tonight.
9!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Beatles Rockband
It's great!
Expensive but great.
I paid £149.99 for my big bad ass Beatles Rockband set, rushed home, unwrapped it, played it for a bit and now it's sitting ominously in the corner whilst work and a social life have taken over. Hurrah for me. Well not quite.
I'm a bit miffed at my almost non-existant drumming skills. I know what to do, and can move both arms independently of each other, and in time. Add a third movement, such as a bass pedal for my foot and it all goes a bit wrong! Ringo, you my friend were and still are a genius. Keith Moon however was just something else! I can't imagine trying some of his drum fills.
The sound, presentation and overall feel of the game are sensational. It is second to none. The quality of this product and package I think are brilliant. You do feel as though you really live out the incredible journey the Beatles took in their relatively short career. Even some of the songs have bits I've never even heard before thanks to the remasters being used, particularly noticeable on I'm looking Through You and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
The songs are an excellent mix, though I was very disappointed by some omissions such as Hey Jude, Let it Be, A Day in the Life and All You Need is Love but I guess too much piano and orchestration led to their cuts.
It does have other downsides though, the microphone for singing has quite a delay so hitting notes 'spot on' when singing is difficult and requires an unnatural amount of singing before you should. Also, the jump from easy to medium is far too high and even the easier songs are far far too hard.
I played Guitar Hero 5 tonight and the feeling of playing an actual instrument is far more prevalent on that than Beatles Rockband. You feel like your nailing the riffs, playing a similar finger movement to what you would on a real guitar. On the Beatles game I feel like I am hitting random notes because they are a bit louder at that point in the song.
As for expert mode. I tried to play While My Guitar Gently Weeps on expert mode and was almost rushed to hospital for a hand transplant. Far far easier and with less movement on a real guitar.
But, whilst continuing the comparison, Guitar Hero 5 is really dirty looking and not a very polished product though I must admit playing as my avatar (complete with aviator sunglasses and pale blue tuxedo) was fantastic. This feature is sadly not available and I have to persist with what I feel is a poor likeness of George Harrison
Anyway, back to to practice the drum solo to The End.
Ringo - you absolute beast!
Expensive but great.
I paid £149.99 for my big bad ass Beatles Rockband set, rushed home, unwrapped it, played it for a bit and now it's sitting ominously in the corner whilst work and a social life have taken over. Hurrah for me. Well not quite.
I'm a bit miffed at my almost non-existant drumming skills. I know what to do, and can move both arms independently of each other, and in time. Add a third movement, such as a bass pedal for my foot and it all goes a bit wrong! Ringo, you my friend were and still are a genius. Keith Moon however was just something else! I can't imagine trying some of his drum fills.
The sound, presentation and overall feel of the game are sensational. It is second to none. The quality of this product and package I think are brilliant. You do feel as though you really live out the incredible journey the Beatles took in their relatively short career. Even some of the songs have bits I've never even heard before thanks to the remasters being used, particularly noticeable on I'm looking Through You and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
The songs are an excellent mix, though I was very disappointed by some omissions such as Hey Jude, Let it Be, A Day in the Life and All You Need is Love but I guess too much piano and orchestration led to their cuts.
It does have other downsides though, the microphone for singing has quite a delay so hitting notes 'spot on' when singing is difficult and requires an unnatural amount of singing before you should. Also, the jump from easy to medium is far too high and even the easier songs are far far too hard.
I played Guitar Hero 5 tonight and the feeling of playing an actual instrument is far more prevalent on that than Beatles Rockband. You feel like your nailing the riffs, playing a similar finger movement to what you would on a real guitar. On the Beatles game I feel like I am hitting random notes because they are a bit louder at that point in the song.
As for expert mode. I tried to play While My Guitar Gently Weeps on expert mode and was almost rushed to hospital for a hand transplant. Far far easier and with less movement on a real guitar.
But, whilst continuing the comparison, Guitar Hero 5 is really dirty looking and not a very polished product though I must admit playing as my avatar (complete with aviator sunglasses and pale blue tuxedo) was fantastic. This feature is sadly not available and I have to persist with what I feel is a poor likeness of George Harrison
Anyway, back to to practice the drum solo to The End.
Ringo - you absolute beast!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
The Upbeat Glass Smash
The Upbeat Glass Smash is a musical project I've worked on for many years now and I decided to put together my favourite tracks and present them to you here...
The Best of The Upbeat Glass Smash
The Best of The Upbeat Glass Smash
Monday, September 28, 2009
Music Monday
To steal an idea from my brother Pete's blog and to link in to Twitter's Music Monday, Monday's are going to have a musical theme on this here blog. Be it just a song / video, a classic live performance, an anecdotal story of rock excess or an interesting "didn't know that!"
For example, La Roux is June Ackland off The Bill's daughter. I didn't know that!
Anyway, let's kick off with a great tune from who else but my all time favourites, The Who. This is Who Are You.
The song was written by Pete Townshend after a night on the lash depressed and feeling like he had sold out. He ended up bumping into some of the Sex Pistols, who had made a comment about the Who in a TV interview, at the Speakeasy in London. Townshend, blind drunk, got in their faces screaming, "Who are ya?!"
This video was filmed at Shepperton Studios especially for the "The Kids Are Alright" documentary not long before Keith Moon's death in 1978. Moon was in a pretty bad way having recently come back from his Los Angeles home after some unbelievable drug and alcohol abuse. It seemed this day he was just in mischievous, show off moods. Apparently, once the filming was over, he played a drum solo that John Entwistle described as "...just fucking phenomenal!". Judging by his playing here, I can't imagine it was anything but.
For example, La Roux is June Ackland off The Bill's daughter. I didn't know that!
Anyway, let's kick off with a great tune from who else but my all time favourites, The Who. This is Who Are You.
The song was written by Pete Townshend after a night on the lash depressed and feeling like he had sold out. He ended up bumping into some of the Sex Pistols, who had made a comment about the Who in a TV interview, at the Speakeasy in London. Townshend, blind drunk, got in their faces screaming, "Who are ya?!"
This video was filmed at Shepperton Studios especially for the "The Kids Are Alright" documentary not long before Keith Moon's death in 1978. Moon was in a pretty bad way having recently come back from his Los Angeles home after some unbelievable drug and alcohol abuse. It seemed this day he was just in mischievous, show off moods. Apparently, once the filming was over, he played a drum solo that John Entwistle described as "...just fucking phenomenal!". Judging by his playing here, I can't imagine it was anything but.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Derren Brown
As soon as I saw this...
...pop up before the hypnotic video started I knew it was going to be a let down. I didn't get stuck.
...pop up before the hypnotic video started I knew it was going to be a let down. I didn't get stuck.
Sheff Wed vs. Middlesbrough
On Tuesday the 15th, me and good friends Keith, Chris and Rob took a trip down to Sheffield for Middlesbrough's away game.
It was fantastic! We enjoyed the great pubs, a gourmet burger, plenty of beer, Rob doing chin ups on a grab-rail on a tram, a great game of pool and some truly appalling Hillsborough disaster comments/songs. Best of all though was the 3-1 victory for Middlesbrough!
Actually no, best of all was raving in the back seat of the car on the way home with Rob to songs like this...
On third thought the very best thing was writing poor Rob's mobile number on the back of a betting coupon and asking him to put it in the gents. I still don't think he clicked on that it was his number!
Photo evidence...
It was fantastic! We enjoyed the great pubs, a gourmet burger, plenty of beer, Rob doing chin ups on a grab-rail on a tram, a great game of pool and some truly appalling Hillsborough disaster comments/songs. Best of all though was the 3-1 victory for Middlesbrough!
Actually no, best of all was raving in the back seat of the car on the way home with Rob to songs like this...
On third thought the very best thing was writing poor Rob's mobile number on the back of a betting coupon and asking him to put it in the gents. I still don't think he clicked on that it was his number!
Photo evidence...
Friday, September 18, 2009
Where Have I Been?
I've been up to all sorts lately hence the lack of blog posts.
I've been...
Minding my brother's dog for the past seven days whilst they were on holiday; spending a belter of a day in Sheffield for the recent Boro game; enjoying a few nights out with the gang and working far too hard.
I'll try and get some blogging done on the above plus some good stuff about my new phone and of course Derren Brown who has been pretty much the only thing talked about at work for the past week.
If I can get out of my chair tonight, I'll try and blog my experience of being stuck to it!
I've been...
Minding my brother's dog for the past seven days whilst they were on holiday; spending a belter of a day in Sheffield for the recent Boro game; enjoying a few nights out with the gang and working far too hard.
I'll try and get some blogging done on the above plus some good stuff about my new phone and of course Derren Brown who has been pretty much the only thing talked about at work for the past week.
If I can get out of my chair tonight, I'll try and blog my experience of being stuck to it!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Soundalike
I heard an absolutely cracking tune on the radio the other night on my way to five a side. It was by Tthe Noisettes and it's called, Never Forget You.
It's fantastic.
I love it but there's a part of it that I was sure I had heard before.
It's this "Alway's remember me!" bit.
What was it? I Youtubed the video and ploughed through all the comments. Nothing. The closest was some guy saying ti sounded like something he'd heard in the 60s.
I listened and listened and then tried singing different stuff over the top of it.
"If you're without him."
"When it's without you."
"When you're without him."
"When you're without her."
"When you're without love!"
Ahh, something clicked that that last line was off a song I like. I Googled the lyrics but didn't have much look until I finally got there...
Am I right? Or is it just me hearing this?
It's fantastic.
I love it but there's a part of it that I was sure I had heard before.
It's this "Alway's remember me!" bit.
What was it? I Youtubed the video and ploughed through all the comments. Nothing. The closest was some guy saying ti sounded like something he'd heard in the 60s.
I listened and listened and then tried singing different stuff over the top of it.
"If you're without him."
"When it's without you."
"When you're without him."
"When you're without her."
"When you're without love!"
Ahh, something clicked that that last line was off a song I like. I Googled the lyrics but didn't have much look until I finally got there...
Am I right? Or is it just me hearing this?
Back to the Future 3
You know in Back to the Future 3, Marty takes that picture of the gravestone with the Doc's name on it right? Then it changes to Clint Eastwood after he accepts Buford's challenge to a showdown on the morning before they go back to 1985.
Well this has always bothered me you see.
After they have the gun fight and Marty does his naff 'Man with no name' impressions, he cracks Buford's head through it, how come the picture of the gravestone changes to just a picture of nothing? You know the gravestone disappears?
All I'm saying is that the grave plot would have been used by some other dead person wouldn't it?
Thought's please.
Don't even get me started on BTTF 2.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Horsing About
Sunday's Bank Holiday night out not only saw me turned away from The Arena for having no ID but also doing a ridiculous horse impression...
A Horse Outside Binns from Peter Heaney on Vimeo.
A Video Blog
I had a go at this tonight.
I whacked the new LG GT505 mobile on to record and sat down and talked at it...ooh for all of 4 seconds before I thought this is just mental, what am I doing?
The question is how do you get over these video blog apprehensions? Thoughts like, I look a tit, my voice sounds far too deep, I will just get slated on Youtube etc etc. run through your head.
Now I've seen Glen and Jamie (who'll you find in the followers list) do some great video blogs in the past but not for a long while. I guess for similar reasons guys?
Anyway, I have lots of ideas for individual video blogs but cracking on and doing it is tougher than first imagined.
But i shall prevail.
Also on to some technical stuff.
I've got a Kodak HD Zi6 camcorder which i want to film my blogs on, but it pretty much kills my PC when playing any clips I've filmed. Does anyone know a way round this? I tried filming off my mobile tonight, but it looked shocking compared to the HD cam, I've been spoilt.
I whacked the new LG GT505 mobile on to record and sat down and talked at it...ooh for all of 4 seconds before I thought this is just mental, what am I doing?
The question is how do you get over these video blog apprehensions? Thoughts like, I look a tit, my voice sounds far too deep, I will just get slated on Youtube etc etc. run through your head.
Now I've seen Glen and Jamie (who'll you find in the followers list) do some great video blogs in the past but not for a long while. I guess for similar reasons guys?
Anyway, I have lots of ideas for individual video blogs but cracking on and doing it is tougher than first imagined.
But i shall prevail.
Also on to some technical stuff.
I've got a Kodak HD Zi6 camcorder which i want to film my blogs on, but it pretty much kills my PC when playing any clips I've filmed. Does anyone know a way round this? I tried filming off my mobile tonight, but it looked shocking compared to the HD cam, I've been spoilt.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Noel Gallagher Leaves Oasis
Well, it finally came to this. Noel Gallagher walking out on Oasis after one row too many with brother Liam.
Well I'm glad to say I did get to see them last year at one of the opening shows of this tour, in Sheffield. It was a great gig, though the seats we were in were rather shit, to be fair but still that communal sing-along is one great feeling and experience.
People might slag them off and say they should have packed in after What's the Story. To me that is people following the 'cool' opinion. And, I disagree with it. For me, all of their albums have been fantastic.
I know, they didn't 'crack the USA' and they're bickering/arrogance filled the papers but so what? They were a truly great, massive, iconic band who produced some of the finest songs ever made. They sold millions of records, set records and defined an era.
Oasis have also provided me many happy memories, lots of singalongs in particular one that stands out is singing Don't Look Back in Anger at Pete's stag do; five or six of us arm in arm in a crowded nightclub in Nottingham.
So, for all the joy they've brought me and no doubt will in hopefully future solo projects or a Noel-less Oasis (who can picture that? Not me.) I say thank you for the good times...
Well I'm glad to say I did get to see them last year at one of the opening shows of this tour, in Sheffield. It was a great gig, though the seats we were in were rather shit, to be fair but still that communal sing-along is one great feeling and experience.
People might slag them off and say they should have packed in after What's the Story. To me that is people following the 'cool' opinion. And, I disagree with it. For me, all of their albums have been fantastic.
I know, they didn't 'crack the USA' and they're bickering/arrogance filled the papers but so what? They were a truly great, massive, iconic band who produced some of the finest songs ever made. They sold millions of records, set records and defined an era.
Oasis have also provided me many happy memories, lots of singalongs in particular one that stands out is singing Don't Look Back in Anger at Pete's stag do; five or six of us arm in arm in a crowded nightclub in Nottingham.
So, for all the joy they've brought me and no doubt will in hopefully future solo projects or a Noel-less Oasis (who can picture that? Not me.) I say thank you for the good times...
The Arena, Middlesbrough
Me and mate Keith arrived here nice and early last night to boogie on down, enjoy a few more drinks and have a good time. However, it seems that Nazis have taken over and following a long wait in the queue they demanded to see everybody's ID. We didn't have any and that was that, fun over. It was over the top in my opinion and a very disappointing end to the night.
We ended the night in Chicago Rock Cafe.
Truly awful.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
My All Time Favourite Song - Part 3
A quick follow up.
I've been having a really good think about this and listening to some serious amounts of music. Where to start?!
There are just so many! From Abba's SOS to the Walker Brother's The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore and everything in between.
There's a very small selection on this Spotify playlist...
spotify:user:kingchief1000:playlist:3LuXGMLrqQbCaRlPU3tiP3
...which will no doubt grow and grow.
I've been having a really good think about this and listening to some serious amounts of music. Where to start?!
There are just so many! From Abba's SOS to the Walker Brother's The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore and everything in between.
There's a very small selection on this Spotify playlist...
spotify:user:kingchief1000:playlist:3LuXGMLrqQbCaRlPU3tiP3
...which will no doubt grow and grow.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Phone Saga
Let me tell you a tall tale about my mobile phone. I could do with getting it off my chest.
I had a thoroughly miserable time yesterday arranging the update of my mobile phone.
It all started a month or so ago when my current contract came to an end with Orange. I currently have a Sony Ericsson k810i which I am sure you'll agree is now ancient. I did my research, took, and ignored people's advice and took the plunge on an iPhone 3GS from O2 on a £45 a month contract.
I knew it was out of stock at the time but I thought yeah that's too bad but great, it's popular, it's the phone to be seen with. So, all well and good.
Well, a week or two went by and it still hadn't arrived. I explored the Carphone Warehouse website for a number to ring but it was constantly engaged. So, I gave up and it got to the point maybe early this week where I actually had a momentary thought of "Oh yeah, I ordered an iPhone and it's still not here and I've done nothing about it." That's how great my mind works.
Anyway, I tried them again and eventually got through where I was put straight onto the world's most complicated automated phone system. There must have been 15 button presses before I finally reached the stage of inputting my order reference.
After inputting that 10 digit number I was told,
"The order reference number you have entered is...invalid!"
"Arrrrgghhh!!"
I hung up and started again.
20 minutes later I finally got through and it was as if I had been connected to the identity theft illegal immigration hotline! The guy wanted my account numbers, debit card numbers, my driving license number too. That can't be right can it?
Apparently because O2 want to do these security checks before issuing the iPhones out. It's not a child you know! It felt a little bit ridiculous so I cut the guy off mid account number and said I would sort it myself face to face with "a geezer in a shop" as I so eloquently put it.
So that was it, iphone order cancelled and left stuck with my current handset still with Orange.
Now then, when I ordered the iphone, I handed in my 30 day contract notice to the guy at Orange who advised me at the time that to transfer my existing number to a new network I would need a PAC (Port Authority Code) Number so he sent me one out. It arrived but I thought nah, sod it, I'll just have a new number. At the time though he said "It's ok if you don't use it just let us know and we'll cancel it." so I thought fine, in the bin it goes. Oh no...
In the back of my mind then yesterday whilst on the phone to Carphone Warehouse and cancelling my order was this whole PAC number thing. I rang Orange and was connected to a young guy who seemed to have absolutely no idea what I was talking about and in the midst of explaining it all for the third time he tried to offer me a Pay as You go phone at the end of another 30 day notice period?!!? He put me on to a lass who explained the PAC number thing. I shouldn't have been sent it apparently. Orange are great aren't they?
She then put me through to the upgrades dept to see what they could do once I'd explained most of the above to her.
In the end after much hard selling and what was no doubt an 'imaginary approval from my line manager', I've managed to bag a LG GT505 for £19.60 a month. It cost nothing and comes with 200 mins talking, unlimited texts and 500mb internet usage which seemed alright to me.
I finally put the phone after maybe 2 hours of ringing, holding, button pressing and explaining but I was happy I'd finally sorted one.
It arrives Tuesday and will be getting a thorough analysis on here.
Now this is the kind of blog post I will be doing a video of in future methinks. I could have told this much better so I will give it a go at some point this week.
Might get a haircut and shave first though.
I had a thoroughly miserable time yesterday arranging the update of my mobile phone.
It all started a month or so ago when my current contract came to an end with Orange. I currently have a Sony Ericsson k810i which I am sure you'll agree is now ancient. I did my research, took, and ignored people's advice and took the plunge on an iPhone 3GS from O2 on a £45 a month contract.
I knew it was out of stock at the time but I thought yeah that's too bad but great, it's popular, it's the phone to be seen with. So, all well and good.
Well, a week or two went by and it still hadn't arrived. I explored the Carphone Warehouse website for a number to ring but it was constantly engaged. So, I gave up and it got to the point maybe early this week where I actually had a momentary thought of "Oh yeah, I ordered an iPhone and it's still not here and I've done nothing about it." That's how great my mind works.
Anyway, I tried them again and eventually got through where I was put straight onto the world's most complicated automated phone system. There must have been 15 button presses before I finally reached the stage of inputting my order reference.
After inputting that 10 digit number I was told,
"The order reference number you have entered is...invalid!"
"Arrrrgghhh!!"
I hung up and started again.
20 minutes later I finally got through and it was as if I had been connected to the identity theft illegal immigration hotline! The guy wanted my account numbers, debit card numbers, my driving license number too. That can't be right can it?
Apparently because O2 want to do these security checks before issuing the iPhones out. It's not a child you know! It felt a little bit ridiculous so I cut the guy off mid account number and said I would sort it myself face to face with "a geezer in a shop" as I so eloquently put it.
So that was it, iphone order cancelled and left stuck with my current handset still with Orange.
Now then, when I ordered the iphone, I handed in my 30 day contract notice to the guy at Orange who advised me at the time that to transfer my existing number to a new network I would need a PAC (Port Authority Code) Number so he sent me one out. It arrived but I thought nah, sod it, I'll just have a new number. At the time though he said "It's ok if you don't use it just let us know and we'll cancel it." so I thought fine, in the bin it goes. Oh no...
In the back of my mind then yesterday whilst on the phone to Carphone Warehouse and cancelling my order was this whole PAC number thing. I rang Orange and was connected to a young guy who seemed to have absolutely no idea what I was talking about and in the midst of explaining it all for the third time he tried to offer me a Pay as You go phone at the end of another 30 day notice period?!!? He put me on to a lass who explained the PAC number thing. I shouldn't have been sent it apparently. Orange are great aren't they?
She then put me through to the upgrades dept to see what they could do once I'd explained most of the above to her.
In the end after much hard selling and what was no doubt an 'imaginary approval from my line manager', I've managed to bag a LG GT505 for £19.60 a month. It cost nothing and comes with 200 mins talking, unlimited texts and 500mb internet usage which seemed alright to me.
I finally put the phone after maybe 2 hours of ringing, holding, button pressing and explaining but I was happy I'd finally sorted one.
It arrives Tuesday and will be getting a thorough analysis on here.
Now this is the kind of blog post I will be doing a video of in future methinks. I could have told this much better so I will give it a go at some point this week.
Might get a haircut and shave first though.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
HTML Amazement
I found this thing astonishing.
If you visit this website here... Fujinonbinos and then right click and view page source, you'll see a load of 8pt font sizes giving you the impression that somebody really, really wanted the font to be at 8pt size.
Oh no, some geezer has made the remarkable observation that if the page source is turned on it's side, it looks like this...
Which happens to look very much like this...
Now, the view above is taken from the Fuji Headquarters in Saitama on Google Earth.
Put them together and...
How the frig did they work this out?!! Mental. Just mental.
All found from the b3ta newsletter.
If you don't read it, you should, it's fantastic. Do it here.
If you visit this website here... Fujinonbinos and then right click and view page source, you'll see a load of 8pt font sizes giving you the impression that somebody really, really wanted the font to be at 8pt size.
Oh no, some geezer has made the remarkable observation that if the page source is turned on it's side, it looks like this...
Which happens to look very much like this...
Now, the view above is taken from the Fuji Headquarters in Saitama on Google Earth.
Put them together and...
How the frig did they work this out?!! Mental. Just mental.
All found from the b3ta newsletter.
If you don't read it, you should, it's fantastic. Do it here.
My All Time Favourite Song - Part 2
Well it turns out that I misinterpeted Keith's favourite song of all time. Although Rocking All Over The World was given a mention, it was actually this...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Thanks Glen
Thank you for the promotion via your various status updates, tweets and blog and a very big HELLO if you're visiting the site via Glen's link.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
My All Time Favourite Song - Part 1
This debate got going last night back at my friends Robbie's house and when I was asked what my all time favourite song was, it stumped me.
What is my all time favourite song? I literally don't have one!! I like so many songs but I don't have one that stands out above all the others. Or do I?
What better excuse then to do some blogging and analyse my favourite songs.
Robbie's answer was, quite unbelievably, this...
And Keith's was, yes, you've guessed it, Status Quo...
...neither of which I am particularly fond of.
I couldn't have even told you who sang the Vandross song above until last night and the Quo song is well, just what it is, an overly simple party song that, whilst it gets me out of my seat, it doesn't say or mean anything to me emotionally. Whereas to Keith, he associates it with a particularly happy time - Boro lifting the Carling Cup all those years ago.
More on this very soon.
What is my all time favourite song? I literally don't have one!! I like so many songs but I don't have one that stands out above all the others. Or do I?
What better excuse then to do some blogging and analyse my favourite songs.
Robbie's answer was, quite unbelievably, this...
And Keith's was, yes, you've guessed it, Status Quo...
...neither of which I am particularly fond of.
I couldn't have even told you who sang the Vandross song above until last night and the Quo song is well, just what it is, an overly simple party song that, whilst it gets me out of my seat, it doesn't say or mean anything to me emotionally. Whereas to Keith, he associates it with a particularly happy time - Boro lifting the Carling Cup all those years ago.
More on this very soon.
Old at 26
Ouch! It was a like a punch to the stomach entering the world of Middlesbrough pub, "The Crown" last night.
I'd heard plenty of people mention "The Crown on a Monday" but never gave it a shot until last night.
Dear me. I was easily one of the oldest in there and it hurt my pride quite a bit!
Still, £1.50 a drink, a top laugh and some serious amounts of clunge.
I shall have to go more often.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare
I was playing the "All Ghillied Up" Level and wondered whether any of it was based on the real city. Check this out...
If you've played it, you'll instantly recognise the above. How freaky's that?!
If you've played it, you'll instantly recognise the above. How freaky's that?!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Woodstock Anniversary
It's the 40th Anniversary of this monumental, historical event and what better excuse than to air a little of my favourite band on my blog.
Here's a clip of Pete Townshend, spiked with acid (as they all were), smashing a guitar around political activist Abbie Hoffman. Hoffman interrupted them at the conclusion of Pinball Wizard, mid-way through their Rock Opera, Tommy. Earlier in the show Townshend had already booted a cameraman for getting too close to Roger Daltrey.
Easily the most exciting, dangerous and talented live band there's ever been.
Woodstock: The Director's Cut airs tonight on BBC 4 at 9pm.
Here's a clip of Pete Townshend, spiked with acid (as they all were), smashing a guitar around political activist Abbie Hoffman. Hoffman interrupted them at the conclusion of Pinball Wizard, mid-way through their Rock Opera, Tommy. Earlier in the show Townshend had already booted a cameraman for getting too close to Roger Daltrey.
Easily the most exciting, dangerous and talented live band there's ever been.
Woodstock: The Director's Cut airs tonight on BBC 4 at 9pm.
Football
The Championship restarted last weekend with a lot more hype than usual amongst my friends; simply because of local team Middlesbrough's newfound position within the league. They visit Swansea today (mates Keith and Rob have gotten the train down and I'm already receiving some fantastic texts through of their exploits. I shall have to blog them later) for the Boro game.
But things really get going today with the return of the Premiership.
I'm currently watching Chelsea vs. Hull and I'm hooked already. As I type Didier Drogba's just confirmed how excellent it is with a delightful free-kick.
I think Chelsea are going to win the whole thing this season, they look like a much more fluid, attack minded force. Man Utd will miss the attacking menace and skills of Ronaldo. He's been far too important a player for them in too many matches in the last two seasons to not be missed. In contrast, Chelsea have lost no-one and brought in one or two whilst getting some key players back from injury. They've also got a player who I think has been one of the best players in the land for the last five years; Frank Lampard. His record is immense. He's scored 20 or more goals in all competitions in the past five consecutive seasons. I am a real admirer of his talent and ability to perform consistently throughout the season, every season.
I'm certain though that it will be as unpredictable as ever and I'm really looking forward to it.
Here's too another spectacular season and plenty to talk, blog and tweet about in the forthcoming season!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Chai-Yo Thai Massage Parlour, Krakow
I mentioned the Thai Massage Parlour in an earlier post the other day. Well here's a little story for you all...
It was the Thursday afternoon of a five day long trip (Tuesday to Saturday). It was around about 3pm and we (me and my mate Keith) were both pretty leathered - merely topping up the previous days over the top binge with some seriously strong lager. We both sat blurry eyed wondering what to do next as yet another drink seemed a bit of a challenge.
"Well I don't know about you Keith but I want a massage. Can we get one?" I shouted. "Like now?"
"But Mikey you don't even know where the friggin' place is."
"Yeah, it's on the map. Here, look!"
The free tourist map from the hotel was our pride and joy on this trip. Krakow is almost as mazey as Amsterdam. So off we went with our tails up (not a euphemism) and we stopped a taxi.
It took forever. It was absolutely miles away.
We finally got there and were greeted with what can only be described as the biggest front door you've ever seen.
"I am a tad scared pal!"
I hesitantly pressed the button on the intercom and was greeted in Polish.
"Errr yeah, it's Mikey Heaney and Keith Groves here, we've come for the massage, can we come in?"
It creeked open and I thought I would be greeted by about 6 or 7 burly former bare knuckle boxers. But no, I was met by a young Polish girl. This looked promising!!
I quickly explained why we there - for massages of course! But as I garbled through the beer, I hadn't heard her say that they were full until 4pm tomorrow. Keith had!
I asked again, this time not slurring my words...
"Mikey they haven't got any room for ya, you thick cunt!" (We have the utmost respect for each other.)
At which point I let out the biggest "Nooooooooooooo!!!" this side of Darth Vader!
Anyway, I finally, tonight, got round to Googling the Chai Yo Thai Massage Parlour and do you know what I visited the websites gallery and found this guy...
It was almost guaranteed that this Bruce Lee wannabe was going to massage me within an inch of my life and then ask if I wanted any extras.
Well, I wasn't sticking around to get to know his Fist of Fury!
Here's the link...click!
It was the Thursday afternoon of a five day long trip (Tuesday to Saturday). It was around about 3pm and we (me and my mate Keith) were both pretty leathered - merely topping up the previous days over the top binge with some seriously strong lager. We both sat blurry eyed wondering what to do next as yet another drink seemed a bit of a challenge.
"Well I don't know about you Keith but I want a massage. Can we get one?" I shouted. "Like now?"
"But Mikey you don't even know where the friggin' place is."
"Yeah, it's on the map. Here, look!"
The free tourist map from the hotel was our pride and joy on this trip. Krakow is almost as mazey as Amsterdam. So off we went with our tails up (not a euphemism) and we stopped a taxi.
It took forever. It was absolutely miles away.
We finally got there and were greeted with what can only be described as the biggest front door you've ever seen.
"I am a tad scared pal!"
I hesitantly pressed the button on the intercom and was greeted in Polish.
"Errr yeah, it's Mikey Heaney and Keith Groves here, we've come for the massage, can we come in?"
It creeked open and I thought I would be greeted by about 6 or 7 burly former bare knuckle boxers. But no, I was met by a young Polish girl. This looked promising!!
I quickly explained why we there - for massages of course! But as I garbled through the beer, I hadn't heard her say that they were full until 4pm tomorrow. Keith had!
I asked again, this time not slurring my words...
"Mikey they haven't got any room for ya, you thick cunt!" (We have the utmost respect for each other.)
At which point I let out the biggest "Nooooooooooooo!!!" this side of Darth Vader!
Anyway, I finally, tonight, got round to Googling the Chai Yo Thai Massage Parlour and do you know what I visited the websites gallery and found this guy...
It was almost guaranteed that this Bruce Lee wannabe was going to massage me within an inch of my life and then ask if I wanted any extras.
Well, I wasn't sticking around to get to know his Fist of Fury!
Here's the link...click!
i-Pod and i-Phone
Well I was in for some conflict today. I wasn't too bothered today about the lass who's on work experience wearing her ipod all day. After all she was doing a load of filing for me and doing a fairly good job. I couldn't hear it, she didn't hum along either so there was no need to bother her you might think. Oh no, a few complaints came my way after she'd left and I wondered what everyone thought? Should I knack her?
But it also got me thinking quite a bit about the iPhone 3gs I've ordered. I am seriously reconsidering it now as, when the chuff am I going to use it?
I have a fully functioning PC at home (well sometimes), I use Spotify for music and well anything else that it does doesn't seem to be that practical or useful...or is it? Would I use these 'apps' a lot? Or 3 months into my 2 year contract would I just be saying, "Big fucking wow!" to the app that lets me drink an imaginary pint of Carling.
I hate Carling.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Altercation Last Night
Albert Road, Middlesbrough. Scum absolutely everywhere, pizza shops full and parmos selling out! As we wondered up Albert Road, this lass is getting some grief or dishing it out to this young coloured chap. Dizzee Rascal as my mate Keith called him later.
She smashed his head off a car and then he speared her in to some shutters before launching a blistering 1-2 combination that didn't even phase her! She was a big old girl and hard as nails!
It made me ashamed of the shit-hole I live in that the police took about ten minutes for them to come and sort anything out. They were stood about 15 yards away (near Flares) and everyone seemed to get a bit of a kick out of it. I suppose it's a scene seen everywhere in today's Booze Britain. The highlight for me was that she called him a paedophile! But he clearly wasn't, as he did not have NHS glasses on or a beard.
Bonkers.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Mysterious White Balloon
Whilst in Krakow, from the hotel room window we could see a mysterious white balloon. Anyway, I finally decided to check out what it was.
It turns out it is a tethered hot air balloon which you can go up on and check out the cities marvellous views. I wish I'd gone on it now and not got that taxi across the city looking for a Thai massage parlour!
Pete's Birthday
Had a cracking time at Pete's birthday last night including an impromptu dance along to Rolf Harris's superb Court of King Caractacus. Much like this...
Great fun and Happy Birthday again to Pete, it was a quality night out.
Great fun and Happy Birthday again to Pete, it was a quality night out.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Polish TV
On my recent trip to Krakow we would watch the TV late at night and there was a kids TV channel. This would air a semi-still shot of a fish which would blow a bubble to the surface. It was pretty weird and can I hell as like find anything on Google about it. So relaxing though when trying to sleep off a huge amount of alcohol. Can anyone find anything about this?
Also, the Simpsons in Polish was strangely brilliant!
Also, the Simpsons in Polish was strangely brilliant!
Hello
Well here's a new blog which I intend to update on a daily basis. I shall have to have a play with how it looks too so watch this space.
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